The Antipodean Chapter

The document below was received by the Secretary in February 2019 and is reproduced here, unaltered, for the completeness of the record and for no other reason. The Society does not acknowledge the body styling itself “the Antipodean Chapter of the Pedants’ Society”. The Society notes that non-acknowledgement and non-publication are distinct acts, and that the archive’s duty is to the record. The Curator adds that the document is among the most frequently consulted in the collection, a circumstance on which the Society declines to comment.

On the Founding of the Antipodean Chapter

A Statement Issued from Paddington, Sydney, on the 14th of February, 2019

It is with a mixture of regret, resolve, and mild amusement that we, the undersigned, announce the formation of the Antipodean Chapter of the Pedants’ Society — a body which, we acknowledge from the outset, the parent Society in London has declined to recognise, will continue to decline to recognise, and has already written to us about twice.

We were, until recently, Fellows in good standing. Some of us had been so for decades. Our resignations were tendered not in anger, but in the spirit of gentle, corrective separation — much as one might separate a compound predicate with a semicolon, rather than a full stop, when the matter is not yet entirely finished.

The matter, we wish to record, is not yet entirely finished.

The Immediate Cause

The Antipodean Chapter was precipitated by the decision of the London Society, at the 2018 Extraordinary General Meeting, to formally reject the application for Fellowship of one Dr Beryl Honeyfield of the University of Melbourne, on the grounds that her published monograph — A Short Defence of the Australian Vowel (Melbourne University Press, 2017) — contained “views tending to dignify regional dialect beyond what is consistent with Fellowship.”

Dr Honeyfield is, we note, a serious scholar. Her book contains no fewer than forty-one pages of footnotes. It was reviewed favourably in the TLS. The London Society’s objection was not to its scholarship but, it transpired in correspondence, to its tone.

The word “tone” appeared eleven times in the rejection letter.

We, who signed the letter of protest that followed, were informed that our continued Fellowship was “under review.” We have saved everyone concerned a great deal of time.

The Underlying Cause

The Immediate Cause was the occasion, not the reason. The reason is older, and will be familiar to any Antipodean Fellow who has sat through a London meeting and been asked, on arrival, to repeat themselves.

The London Society holds — has always held — that British English is correct, and American English is an acceptable variant. This formulation, enshrined in the Salzburg Compromise of 1907, has been the cause of roughly half of the Society’s internal schisms, and the source of approximately all of its correspondence with the United States. The Compromise names two Englishes. The world, as is increasingly observed, contains several more.

The Antipodean Chapter holds a different view, which we state here, plainly, for the avoidance of doubt:

Australian English is correct. New Zealand English is correct. British English is correct. American English is an acceptable variant.

We note, without comment, that our formulation differs from London’s by only two sentences.

On the Permissible

The Antipodean Chapter admits the following into the body of correct English, in defiance of the London Register:

• “She’ll be right” as a complete sentence.
• “Heaps” as an adverb of quantity, equivalent to “a great deal.” (London prefers “very many.” London is welcome to.)
• “Arvo,” “servo,” “bottle-o,” and the diminutive family generally, in informal registers. Not, we concede, in formal prose.
• “Yeah, nah” as a negation, and “nah, yeah” as an affirmation. These are not, as the London Society has alleged in print, “logically incoherent.” They carry distinct and quite precise meanings, and the inability of the London ear to perceive the difference is a matter for the London ear.
• “Chur,” as used in Aotearoa, in thanks, assent, or benediction.
• The use of “sweet as” as a completed phrase, on the grounds that the omitted comparator is understood, and that English has tolerated worse ellipsis since Anglo-Saxon.
• The Macquarie Dictionary as an authority of equal standing to the Oxford English Dictionary within Australia, and the Dictionary of New Zealand English within New Zealand.

We continue to hold, with the London Society:

• That literally does not, in fact, mean figuratively.
• That the apostrophe belongs where it belongs.
• That decimate has a history worth knowing, even where usage has moved on.
• That “fewer” and “less” are not the same word.
• That the Oxford comma is, more often than not, correct.

We are not, we wish to stress, relaxed pedants. The Antipodean Chapter retains the full disciplinary seriousness of the parent Society in all matters genuinely concerning logic, clarity, and the avoidance of ambiguity. We diverge only on those matters where London has mistaken provincial taste for universal law.

On the Tone

The London Society has written, in its most recent Quarterly Statement, that the Antipodean Chapter is “characterised by a levity of manner ill-befitting serious scholarship.” We accept the charge. We deny that it is a charge.

A pedant may laugh. A pedant may take the mickey. A pedant may, on a warm evening in Paddington with a glass of something cold, observe a misplaced apostrophe and find it funny rather than grievous. This capacity — for pedantry to coexist with a sense of the absurd — is, we submit, the missing element in the London tradition, and the reason the Chapter was necessary.

We correct. We simply do not sulk about it.

The Rivalry

The London Society has declined to acknowledge the Chapter’s existence in print, though it has devoted three Quarterly Statements to matters raised by the Chapter’s formation, which we take as a form of acknowledgement.

We, for our part, continue to send the London Secretary a Christmas card every year. He has not yet replied, but we note that he has not returned the cards either.

Membership

The Antipodean Chapter admits Fellows from Australia, New Zealand, and such other jurisdictions as apply in good faith and with a sense of humour. Applicants from the United Kingdom are welcome, though we ask them to confirm, on the application form, that they are applying of their own accord and have not been sent.

Applicants from the United States are admitted as Honorary Fellows under the Salzburg formula, with which we have no quarrel.

The Antipodean Creed

Three clauses, in correspondence with the Parent Society’s Creed:

• That facts are facts.
• That grammar is grammar.
• That “literally” does not, in fact, mean “figuratively” — but that one may still laugh about it.

The Antipodean Motto

Rectitudo cum risu — Correctness, with laughter.

(The Chapter’s Latin has been verified by Prof. Pōtiki, who notes that it would be rectitudo cum risū if we were being absolutely strict, but that we are not being absolutely strict, and that this is, in fact, the point.)

The Post-Nominals

FAC — Fellow of the Antipodean Chapter.

The London Society has objected that FAC “resembles an acronym already in circulation, and is thus unsuitable.” The Chapter’s response, in full, is: yes.

Founding Signatories

• Dr Beryl Honeyfield, University of Melbourne (Foundation President)
• Prof. Mihi Pōtiki, Victoria University of Wellington (Foundation Vice-President)
• Mr Geoffrey “Geoff” Wyndham-Forbes, formerly FPS, late of the London Society (Foundation Secretary)
• Ms Alice Chen, The Sydney Morning Herald (Foundation Registrar)
• The Rev. Dr Hēmi Taylor, Hamilton (Honorary Chaplain)
• A further seventeen Fellows whose names appear in the Chapter Roll, available on request.

The document ends. The Secretary's filing note, appended on receipt, reads in full: "Received. Filed. Not acknowledged." The folder has since been opened 211 times. Fellowship of the London Society — which preceded the Chapter by 172 years, and whose certificate carries the original apostrophe — may be sought in the usual manner.